Catastrophe
by Eric Ferguson
Cat food commercials on TVshow cats of high and low degree
eating the contents of their tins
- full of nourishing vitamins,
while with a supercilious air
soft voices overhead declare
the food has such seductive taste
nothing is ever left to waste.
Their cats bound in and cannot wait
until they've emptied every plate.
What kind it is, they do not mind,
they never leave a scrap behind,
but daintily leave every dish
licked clean of rabbit, beef or fish.
Then beaming owners speak with pride
of how they're more than satisfied.
out to the shops my dear wife goes.
Determined then, her plans are made
to earn a feline accolade.
She comes home laden with the lot
- there's not a brand she hasn't got,
and when she's opened up a tin
our cats are then invited in.
They look - they sniff - away each goes -
their thoughts expressed by upturned nose.
But each tin gets the same reaction -
not one can give them satisfaction.
Once, in a while, they stop to taste
a bite or two - the rest is waste
spread round the vinyl to prepare
a skid pan for the unaware.
The trouble is, it seems to me,
our cats just will not watch TV.